Humor

Five More Freebies to Start of the Month

by Alana on March 1, 2013

Murder and Other DistractionsMurder and Other Distractions
Michael Estrin
If you’re wanted for murder, the last thing you should do is smoke a joint, eat a taco, and alienate potential alibis. Then again, Ethan isn’t a very good murder suspect.

Maybe it’s just been a lousy week for him. There are layoffs at the office, poorly written death threats, and a vapid, but alluring coworker sending Ethan mixed signals. The f-buddy who loves to loathe him doesn’t understand that it’s over, and his philosophizing best friend is pretty sure that Ethan’s problem is merely the dreary momentum of the hipster ethos. Or it could be that Ethan’s pot dealer is out of baggies once again.

But the cop who’s after him doesn’t buy any of that bullshit. Despite being lazy and crooked, Boyd is damn good at his job. He’s certain Ethan murdered his ex—The Girl Who Got Away—along with her nobody of a boyfriend. And the more Boyd hounds him for a confession, the more Ethan comes to see the murders as his way out of the existential crisis consuming him. 



Finding Grace—A Transformational JourneyFinding Grace—A Transformational Journey
Kathy Gottberg
Ever wonder what it takes to be uniquely and passionately yourself in a world determined to make you like everyone else?

Grace Martin intends to find out as she stumbles from one life lesson to another. With a peculiar but supportive guide and mentor named Mrs. Pettermint, Grace slowly breaks free of traditional family and religion, and courageously explores life, relationships and various spiritual traditions seeking the answers to life’s big questions. Finally, just when she feels she is close to having it all figured out, her beloved mentor dies leaving her nearly $60 Million Dollars. However the only way to claim that inheritance and find the peace she longs for is for Grace to face the critics of her past, the betrayals of the present, and her doubts for the future.

Finding Grace shows that in today’s world it is possible to be spiritual without being religious. And for many women, the path to grace is often being willing to celebrate ourselves exactly as we already are.



Survivalist by Circumstance - Volume OneSurvivalist by Circumstance - Volume One
Cheryl L. Cholley
Darrell is suffering the effects of the downturn of the American economy. He has been laid off from his job as a stockbroker, and is taking his change in circumstances hard.

Mallory, Darrell's wife, is a nurse at a local hospital in their hometown of San Francisco. Their two children have lived their entire lives in the same home, and love The City.

When Darrell announces that he is considering a move to Santa Fe, his proposal is met with mixed reactions. Mallory is ready to pack up and move immediately. However their two children, Gemma and Preston, are dead set against the move.

I hope you enjoy this first episode in the series. The family finally comes to a decision on the move, but not without input from their zany neighbor Rick.

Because the episodes of this series are short, the price is an easy ninety-nine cents. You can hardly get a cup of coffee for that these days, so be sure to take a chance and give this new series a try. I'm betting I'll hear from you wanting to know when the next episode will arrive.

UPDATE: You may now purchase the first seven Episodes of this series in one single book. On Amazon, search for Survivalist by Circumstance - Novel One. Priced at only $3.99, you can save a few dollars by getting it all at once.





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The Girl From Long GuylandThe Girl From Long Guyland
Lara Reznik
MEMOIR MEETS THRILLER: Set against a 1969 psychedelic love-in backdrop, The Girl From Long Guyland is shared through the eyes of Laila Levin when decades later, an unsolved murder pulls her reluctantly into her past. A dramatic collision of then and now -- entwining family, marriage, profession and ethics.

Laila enjoys a successful marriage and a thriving career as an I.T. executive in Austin, Texas, but she can't quite shake her lifelong sense of not truly belonging anywhere.

When her company announces a major layoff, Laila finds herself caught between an unscrupulous CEO and her promiscuous boss. Then news of her college roommate's suicide stirs up a dark secret involving three devious friends from her past. One has betrayed a vow, another wants to rekindle their romance, and the third is out for revenge.

Suddenly for Laila, it's 1969 again. She's only seventeen, and she's left her sheltered home in Long Island for college in Connecticut. Amid protests of the Vietnam War, she's tempted by the sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll that rule her generation. Laila gets swept up in a deceptive love triangle with two older locals and initiated into their unethical hippie family. Too late she realizes her search to belong has led to tragedy.

Laila must now juggle the demands of her perplexed husband and her baby boomer past forcing her to make choices that endanger her survival and challenge her conscience.

She learns that the lines between right and wrong are often blurred, and sometimes you have to risk everything to be true to yourself.

A Very Ugly Story (Very Ugly Stories Comedy Series Book 1)A Very Ugly Story (Very Ugly Stories Comedy Series Book 1)
Carry Lada
Read this story, because it is fun.

#1 A Very Ugly Story: (Short Fiction: approximately 4000 words)

Warning: In this story there are plenty of nipples. (o)(o) Don't reach for a paper towel just yet, because this is not erotica. ;)

Immerse your imagination into this silly story that will tickle your funny bone.

Quick, yummy, and probably not too good for you.

An amateur mad scientist, a very ugly mishap, some beautiful people, and a bouncing bikini babe running away to retain her beauty.

What does this all mean?

Grab some nacho chips and relax. There is some cheesey fun waiting inside.

Less than the price of a bacon double cheeseburger and just as yummy. Also zero calories.

Four out of five pretentious people roll their eyes at my story.

A quick fix. The fast food equivalent of storytelling. (No MSG Added)

Lowbrow loveliness at its finest.

Enjoy this beautiful ugliness. <3

Delusions of GrandeurDelusions of Grandeur
Jason Najum
“Reads almost like a poem . . . An earnest, soulful book about the world’s woes.” — Kirkus Reviews

A book that asks the big questions facing today's generation

DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR is part dark and humorous memoir, part relentless cultural critique. How can a people who have so much still feel dissatisfied? How does an educated but jaded society reconcile what they know with what they see happening around them? These and other big questions are examined and updated for today. If you have ever felt that more should be happening – in your life, in this culture we give ourselves to – then this book is for you.

Thousands protesting in the streets of New York. Revolutions across the Middle East. Millions of people plugged into social networks, searching for a connection, longing for a sense of community. This is not the trailer for a movie, not the hook of an epic novel; this is what’s happening today, all around us.

Using a familiar backstory and well-known cultural examples, revisiting our history to better see where we came from, DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR is a passionate and personal examination of that “something” that is missing in our lives, why this something continues to eat at us, and why we need a different approach to how we deal with it.

In a modern and fast-paced style, a compelling and common sense argument is presented for the next stage in our cultural evolution.

A must-read for anyone who's ever felt sure that there must be more than this



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Five Fresh Free Reads for You Today

by Alana on February 21, 2013



Thirty Something (Nothing's How We Dreamed It Would Be)Thirty Something (Nothing's How We Dreamed It Would Be)
Filipa Fonseca Silva
Joana is a conservative, controlling woman who expected much more from marriage; Maria is trying to get back on her feet after being dumped just before her wedding; Filipe hides his broken heart in failed relationships.
Is this as good as it gets when you're thirty something?
That's what these three friends from college times will find out during a dysfunctional dinner party. Because life is not always how we dreamed it would be.
Considered by some 'The Big Chill' of the 21st century, this debut novel is all about the end of innocence. Funny, clever and real.

"A very courageous novel that asks us to explore the hard questions in our lives no matter if we are thirty something or much older." - 5 stars - Karen Doering, Top 1.000 Amazon Reviewer

"Thirty Something is basically a story of reflection. We see how a group of friends, that are so different and have taken diverse paths in life, come together over dinner and how each one reflects on how different their lives are now." - 5 stars - Crystal Burns, Blogger: getlostinfiction.com



Captain's Day: A Golf CauserieCaptain's Day: A Golf Causerie
Terry Ravenscroft
At Sunnymere Golf Club meticulous plans put in place by club captain Henry Fridlington ought to have guaranteed that his Captain’s Day would be the best day in his life. However Henry has recently enforced a ‘no swearing on the golf course’ policy, a policy which has not gone down at all well with the membership - and a policy which is largely instrumental in ensuring that far from being the best day in his life his Captain’s Day quickly turns into the very worst day of his life. Of course the self-important behaviour of Henry himself doesn’t help matters. Neither does the arrival of the fire brigade on the golf course, the arrival of the police and the arrival of a twenty feet high pile of manure on the eighteenth green. But even without these unwanted distractions the two naked golfers charging about the course, one of them fuelled by drugs, the other fuelled by the desire to escape from the cuckolded fellow golfer chasing him, might have been enough to make Henry wish he’d never heard of the game of golf. Not to mention the mayhem caused by dance DJ Daddy Rhythm and his 120 decibel disco. Nor what the Lady Captain was getting up to with Henry’s father-in-law and two of his friends when Henry called in with his friend the Lord Mayor at the hospitality tent.
Captain’s Day will make non-golfers wonder why otherwise sane people take up the game and those who have taken up the game wish they had taken up something less fraught with danger, such as formation hang-gliding.

Just one of many 5 star Amazon Reviews -
“This is a very funny book. It will be enjoyed by golfers and non -golfers alike. In fact if Captain’s Day was like this in real life, lots more would take up the game. Refreshingly non PC with events that only the author could ever think of. Great fun and I doubt you have ever read anything like it before.” Cornishblue.

Captain's Day contains some sex scenes and strong language.

Are You My Mommy? The Search For My Birth Mother (Tales of Adoption Book 2)Are You My Mommy? The Search For My Birth Mother (Tales of Adoption Book 2)
Janet Louise Stephenson
Two sisters passed around from family to family as toddlers, handled their situation in dramatically different ways. The older sister internalized the abandonment and rejection, while the younger sister eagerly embraced each new mother figure asking, "Are you my mommy?"


Thirty years after being adopted into a Forever Family, these sisters seek out their past. In the search to reconnect with their biological family, they easily locate and reunite with their birth father. Through this reunion, they start to learn of the difficult life their birth mother had lived, and might still be living.

Several clues point to Native American Heritage through their birth mother's family line. While intense curiosity drives them to know more of their ancestry, their desire to reunite with her is diminished by an uncertainty over whether she wants to be found or if she would rather leave the past behind her where she buried it over 30 years ago.

They seek answers to these questions:
  • Is their birth mother alive? 
  • How will the answer to this question affect them?
  • If found alive, will she accept or reject them? 
  • What secrets has she been guarding all these years?
  • Does she hold the keys to connect them to their tribal ancestry?
  • What will it take to heal the wounds for both mother and daughters?
The tale stretches beyond the exhaustive search for their mother, delving into complicated family relationships, spirituality, healing, and forgiveness.





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EIGHT Engaging Reads for Free!

by Alana on February 12, 2013

Bountiful Creek: a legendary love storyBountiful Creek: a legendary love story
Steven B. Weissman
In the spring of 1861, just prior to the onset of the Civil War, eighteen-year-old Martha Somerville finds her life rapidly changing along with the world around her. Determined to find a way to build a life with her love, Wilby, Martha focuses her energies on acquiring enough money to buy a plot of land to turn into a small farm. Her obsession takes her far from quiet Bountiful Creek, Virginia, deep into Union territory in Ohio. When war breaks out, she immediately sets her course for home before Wilby leaves to join the Confederate Army; but a wealthy suitor, a gravely ill companion, and a thief challenge her efforts to reach him in time. Yet even if she can successfully overcome her obstacles, her life dangerously parallels an ill-fated legend that threatens to keep her and the man she loves apart forever.

Worse Than Being AloneWorse Than Being Alone
Patricia Clark
Worse Than Being Alone is a riveting tale involving multiple cons, a vicious murder, romance, betrayal, and escape as it vividly explores just how far all of us are prepared to go to avoid being alone.

Kitty and Roni are building their fledgling investigative agency by following workers' comp cheats. Every PI's dream of catching real criminals seems to be coming true when they begin to suspect one of their targets is engaged in more nefarious activities than just a bogus comp claim. Their cat and mouse game gets twisted when they realize they are the ones being stalked.

A personal and potentially lethal inquiry emerges after Roni's father marries a woman with a checkered past, and they fear he has found his Worse Than Being Alone. When their investigation points to a shady past involving a trail of life insurance payouts and dead husbands, they wonder if Dad has married a Black Widow or an extremely unlucky woman.

As that case boils over, along comes the most talented con artist of them all. After his angry employer hires them to check him out, Kitty and Roni slowly come to realize he has the makings of a master criminal. They uncover numerous identities along with multiple workers' comp claims. Then here are his almost daily trips to the same bank wearing different disguises.

Surprises abound as Kitty and Roni break up a sex slave ring, thwart a bank robbery, nab a shoplifter, and document a Black Widow's treachery. A sudden death leaves them stunned as they second-guess their activities, forcing them to confront a murderer.

AN UNQUIET AMERICANAN UNQUIET AMERICAN
AFN CLARKE
Bestselling author AFN Clarke wrote AN UNQUIET AMERICAN in 2007-2008. The explosive revelations released by the US Senate Select Committee on Intelligence in December 2014 concerning CIA Black Sites and extreme torture during the Bush Administration, makes this powerful, provocative and eerily prophetic novel an even more incredible “must read” of our times.

Rufus Reed, ex-British Special Forces, is drugged, kidnapped, falsely accused of terrorism and “disappeared” to a secret CIA “Black Site” in Northern Europe. He’s to be broken “by any means possible”. But nothing is quite what it seems, and Reed is no ordinary prisoner. He was trained in counterterrorism and psychological warfare, and as he engages with his captors they develop a growing respect for his intelligence, level headedness and humanity. As doubts about his guilt grow, so does the horrifying possibility that they’re all just pawns in a larger, more insidious game being played out by right wing extremists at the highest levels of the US government, conspiring to ensure “their man” wins the Presidency of the United States. A game that makes not just Reed, but all of them expendable!

But could “their own” really betray them? As they grapple with the unthinkable, the moves and countermoves of competing forces explode onto the world stage. From a small Irish village to the Port of Al-Aqabah, the White House to the Israeli Knesset, the CIA Black Site to top echelons of the Vatican, events escalate at an unnerving pace until a mind-bending twist propels the action to a dramatic and unexpected conclusion.

Drawing on the author’s own experiences in the military and as the son of a British MI6 operative living in different countries, cultures and political systems around the world, this “controversial”, “politically provocative”, “can't put the book down” literary thriller tackles highly controversial issues and disturbing decisions in history from 1948 to the present, the far reaching consequences of which, we are still dealing with today.

About The Author
AFN Clarke, is the bestselling author of Contact as well as The Orange Moon Affair and The Jonas Trust Deception (Thomas Gunn thriller series); Dry Tortugas; Dreams from the Death Age and Armageddon (The Book of Baker Satire Series) and Collisions. Visit afnclarke.com for more information and leave us your email for future updates. Deep appreciation for any reviews.

“An Unquiet American” Book Categories
•Contemporary American Literature
•Political Thrillers
•International Political Thrillers
•International Espionage Fiction
•International Conspiracy
•Bestselling Authors
•CIA Conspiracy

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Maybe He's Just an Asshole: Ditch Denial, Embrace Your Worth, and Find True Love!Maybe He's Just an Asshole: Ditch Denial, Embrace Your Worth, and Find True Love!
Halle Kaye
Maybe He's Just an Asshole is the insightful, inspirational and HILARIOUS dating guide women have been waiting for. In a world where most of the dating rules seem to have been written from the perspective of the penis, Halle Kaye and Sophie Stone show women how to approach dating from a position of strength and leverage, not from a place of desperation and weakness. Do you wish you had more power/control when it comes to men and dating? Read the book today!

(Oh, and the best part: no rules, games, or bitchiness required.)

IMPORTANT NOTE: if you decide to review this book below, please use the term "ahole" in your review instead of "a**hole" or "asshole" or it might not publish. Thanks!

Finally, please note that this is not intended to be an “anti-man” or “man-hating” book. As one reviewer pointed out, we use the term “asshole” in a playful, snarky, tongue-in-cheek kind of way to refer to men who are a waste of your time. It’s precisely because we believe there are so many wonderful men out there that we want to help you ditch the bad ones fast!





Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your LifeStop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life
Marina Sbrochi
Women have been conditioned to search for the perfect man who will fulfill the dream of a white dress, a diamond ring, 2.5 kids, and a house in the ’burbs. There is pressure from family, friends and the media! Nowhere in this fairy tale is there anything about falling in love with the one you can’t live without—and having fun doing it!

Do you ever think the reason the divorce rate is so high is because women have been taught that life isn’t complete without a husband? We rush into marriage only to discover that it was never meant to be. Quick, find that man before you reach a certain age, and seal the deal. Make him commit or else! The truth is: a marriage will never work when its foundation is set on shaky ground.

Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life bucks the notion that a woman needs a husband to be happy.

Author Marina Sbrochi tells the modern, intelligent woman that she will only find real love when she gets the objective of marriage out of her head—a fundamental mind shift. Change your goal from finding a husband to finding the love of your life, and you’ll find happiness.


The honest, straightforward advice—and the often hilarious accounts—speak to anyone who has read all the “rules” and tried all the tricks, yet can’t seem to get off the starting line.

Stop Looking for a Husband will not only give the intelligent woman ideas for a new and enhanced approach to finding love but will also keep her in stitches with sage advice and true tales that can only happen in real life.








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Five Kindle Freebies Today

by Alana on February 8, 2013

Abraham Lincoln's LieAbraham Lincoln's Lie
Scott Haworth
A note for conservative readers: Don't read this book. It's just going to make you mad, and I don't want to make you mad. I'm a pretty nice guy. I just wanted to write a silly story to make my liberal friends laugh. The plot is outlandish, and it's filled with exaggerated stereotypes and crazy descriptions of conservatives that have no basis in reality. It was not designed to be accurate or to be taken seriously. Life's too short to get all worked up over this ridiculous book. If you're a conservative, I implore you to skip this and go read something you'll actually like. Or turn on the TV and watch a rerun of Seinfeld. Everybody likes Seinfeld, right?

From the author of the popular Dark Moonlighting series:

Abraham Lincoln once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” Senator Nick Bennett believes that it should not stand. Disgusted with partisan politics, Nick calls for America to be split up by political ideology. The idea of living in separate utopias is wildly popular with Americans. The blue states form the Progressive States of America and the red states create the United States of Ronald Reagan. The two new governments are free to address foreign relations, economic policies and social laws without the interference of an opposition party.

While the P.S.A. thrives, the U.S.R.R. is crippled by the inanity of its conservative ideology. A generation of its citizens receives a terrible education and loses the right to privacy. Many are killed either by an abhorrent health care system or the preemptive wars their government starts. The dreadful conditions inside the U.S.R.R. enrage the conservative citizens. Revolution seems inevitable, and the conflict threatens to engulf the liberal country as well.

Abraham Lincoln’s Lie contains political and social satire and is intended for a liberal audience. The novel takes a humorous look at how fiercely debated ideas could actually be implemented by the two ideologies.

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DREAMS FROM THE DEATH AGE (The Book of Baker 1)DREAMS FROM THE DEATH AGE (The Book of Baker 1)
AFN CLARKE
DREAMS FROM THE DEATH AGE is the first book in THE BOOK OF BAKER Trilogy. This futuristic satire is a humorous, irreverent novel full of colorful characters and fast-paced events from a writer with a rascally sense of humor and a “nothing-is-sacred” attitude. And with its humor comes a more enlightened message, about the strength, understanding and heart required to survive a world on the brink of disaster.

Sean Baker is a despondent young man, a failed author who can’t even seem to go through with his own suicide. But that “cowardly” action is the first step in the fulfillment of an amazing destiny. Sean’s life changes forever when he finds a mysterious manuscript, “The Texts of Praetus”, written by a sophisticated 100,000 year-old civilization. Inspired by its stunning revelations, Sean writes a new book - “Dreams from the Death Age” - whose enlightened message resonates with such intensity that it becomes a best seller overnight. With over 75 million readers, THE BOOK is talked about in hushed whispers with a reverence usually reserved for only the most holy, metaphysical and visionary phenomenon - or for “new age” books like The Celestine Prophecy, The Secret or Conversations with God. But with blind adulation also comes the danger of misinterpretation and manipulation.

Enter Lillian Schatsheimer, the loud mouthed, outlandish and somewhat jaded campaign manager of Senator Melvyn W. Ballsfield’s bid for the 2020 US Presidential election. In an attempt to reverse his fading hopes, Lillian latches onto THE BOOK with an almost biblical fervor. She establishes the Baker Academy for the Advancement of Humanity (BAAH for short) as a “front” for her political campaign. This unwittingly sets in motion a cult movement with both hilarious and disastrous consequences.

For centuries enlightened and prophetic writings have been misinterpreted and used to further personal agendas - and BAAH is no exception. Its disciples spin out of control and both candidates for the presidency, with their self-inflated egos and outdated ideologies, resort to desperate measures to fulfill their dreams of political domination unaware that no-one is listening as they have bigger things to deal with, like the possible end of the world!

As natural and man-made disasters shake the core of humankind’s very existence, Sean and his partner Dawn, with help from unexpected sources, become the voice of reason leading those who care to listen, to safety.

But can the explosive chain of events be reversed? Or is Armageddon actually required to cleanse the world of a "mutated" humanity that has totally lost its way and its connection to its own heart and soul? Are the devastating revelations of “The Texts of Praetus” about to become prophecy fulfilled?

DREAMS FROM THE DEATH AGE is the first book in The Book of Baker Trilogy, followed by ARMAGEDDON (Part 2) now available on Amazon; and GENESIS REVISITED (Part 3) to be published late 2012.

Book length 134,979 words.

What 9th Graders Need To Do Get Recruited For A Football Scholarship: Athletic Scholarship Info (Football Recruit Book 1)What 9th Graders Need To Do Get Recruited For A Football Scholarship: Athletic Scholarship Info (Football Recruit Book 1)
Lynn West
Most college football coaches pay very little attention to prospective athletes when they are only freshmen in high school. Unfortunately, many parents and high school coaches basically do the same thing. The ninth grade is considered, by most, to be too early to be thinking about getting your son involved in the college football recruiting process.

However, here at College Athletic Scholarship, it has been our experience through helping thousands of high school athletes over the past fourteen years that a solid recruiting foundation can be started as early as the ninth grade. This, of course, depends on the maturity and determination of your ninth grade football player.

For example, is he willing to tackle the steps necessary to land a college athletic scholarship. Is he willing to learn and apply the steps in the recruiting process as they are given month-by-month? Is he willing to lay the groundwork that will put him ahead of his competition next year? If the answers to these questions are yes, then this book will take him and guide him through the foundational steps in the recruiting process.

If he does the steps as they are given, he will be prepared next year when there is a good possibility that he will see playing time. He will be familiar with basic recruiting terminology, and he will be physically fit to play for his team.

Contrary to what many people still believe, obtaining one of these coveted college scholarships is a process, and in most cases the earlier, you start the more likely you are to play for the school of your dreams. This guide is for the student/athlete and his parents that want to get a jump-start on recruiting process. Fortunately, the process is simple. It really is just a matter of starting early and doing steps as they come along.

Conservatively speaking, college football scholarships can be worth in excess of $150,000 depending upon the school and the number of years your son takes to get his degree.

Unfortunately, even in the ninth grade, recruiting mistakes can be made. If your son is determined to win a college football scholarship and you approve, this guide, written by college athletic scholarship recipients, will not only get him started off on the right foot, but it will also keep him compliant with the NCAA guidelines.

Dissever (Unbinding Fate Book 1)Dissever (Unbinding Fate Book 1)
Colee Firman
Addison Sanders thinks her life is already as complicated as it can possibly get.

Akori - Ancient people with time shifting abilities secretly living among the humans.

Sanders Family - Humans sworn to protect and serve the Akori.

What could be worse than getting stuck with a destiny like that? Tanner Sutherland is about to show her.

When a death in the Sanders Family leaves their power and secrets up for grabs,
centuries old rumors begin surfacing. Far more sinister reasons for her
family's involvement with the Akori than Addy ever could've imagined come to
light. She learns the hard way that placing her trust in anyone could lead to
disaster.

Betrayed by old friends and leery of new ones--she's left to cut through the lies
and deception to get to the truth.

Find out why sometimes its better not knowing, and how much misery really does love
company in Dissever - Book One of the Unbinding Fate Series.


Now Available in the KindleStore - Bonds are broken and new connections are forged in Sanctify (Unbinding Fate, #2) & Chasing Darkness (Unbinding Fate, #3)





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